R.I.P. Willa
I just found out that my friend passed on this morning. Willa was a wonderful, kind-hearted, generous, funny & beautiful lady and I loved her like a sister. When I was going through the in-vitro process to get pregnant with the twins she was there for me every painful step of the way. She helped give me my injections, she listened to me cry and rant. She even had symapthy pains for me! When the first round failed and I lost the embryos she was the one who held me up and stuck with me for the next round. I am so glad that she was still with us to meet the fruits of our labors. When I heard the news today the first thing I did was run upstairs to hug my twins. I know that she was in a lot of pain from the cancer and so I hope that now all her pain is gone. She will be truly missed and forever loved.
We’re both so *fond* of having our picture taken that this was the only one I could find of us… and it’s old… and we are a motley crew, that…
I love you lady and I hope you’ve found peace.
(I am in white and Willa is next to me in red.)
Current Mood:
Devestated
Think before you speak…
In the February issue of Whole Living the question was asked… What’s the best way to give criticism? There were three responses to the question. One from career coach, Jodi Glickman, author of Great on the Job; one from writing instructor, Marion Roach Smith, author of The Memoir Project; and one from a Buddhist, Mark Matousek, author of Ethical Wisdom. All of the responses were helpful and insightful but I wanted to share Mark’s answer which I found to be my favorite…
Before offering criticism, consider your intentions. It’s easy for ulterior motives to color the feedback you give. How are you entering the conversation? With judgement? A desire to control? Are you hoping to intimidate–or to encourage? The Buddha said to ask yourself three questions before speaking: Is it true, is it necessary, and is it kind? [my emphasis] I interpret kindness in this case as constructiveness. If your heart is in the right place and you actually do want to shed light on something to help the other person grow or improve, then that’s the right reason. The truth can hurt–but sometimes the most wise, loving act is to let him feel the sting rather than avoid it. When you speak from a compassionate, non-attacking position, you’re on the right track. And the less it’s about you, the better. Lastly, realize that you can give the best, kindest feedback in the world and have it rejected. That’s OK. You give what you can, give it with love, and the rest is up to the recipient.
Matousek, Mark, Jodi Glickman, and Marion Roach Smith. “In Balance – Uncommon Wisdom / Insight Rountable – Everyone’s a Critic.” Whole Living Feb. 2012: 116. Print.
http://wholeliving.com
For more information on what Buddha was teaching investigate Right Speech in the Eight-fold Path.
Current Mood:
Hey there! & 
Thinking!
another sleepless night without you…
…not the Queensryche song (tho that is a good one)
I can just feel it in the bottom of my stomach that I won’t be sleeping well tonight. I’ve actually felt kind of down and like crying for a few days now. I get that way when I don’t quite know what to do or think about a situation. (Purposely being vague.) I know who the people are that I’d like to commisserate with and who of those I don’t want to be around. I know what it is I think I need and what it is I probably actually need. I know that I am already tired of being tired about being tired. So… what to do? I suppose I’ll do what I always do. In fact, the same thing I’ve been doing since I was a kid and nightmares kept me up. Though I won’t arrange the stuffed animals around me in a circle like an audience… yeah I don’t do that part anymore. But I’m sure I will lay there either staring at the ceiling or with my face in the pillow talking myself to sleep. Telling a little story of how if could or should or would be. It doesn’t work so well as it used to.
What will it be then…. go back to the good old bad days when I used sit in some gawd-awful chat room until the wee hours? Or stare at the ceiling and pray for peace?? Maybe I should have a poll and let me readers decide… lol.
Current Mood:
Crying! & 
Depressed & 
Sad & 
Stressed out & 
Tired