another sleepless night without you…
…not the Queensryche song (tho that is a good one)
I can just feel it in the bottom of my stomach that I won’t be sleeping well tonight. I’ve actually felt kind of down and like crying for a few days now. I get that way when I don’t quite know what to do or think about a situation. (Purposely being vague.) I know who the people are that I’d like to commisserate with and who of those I don’t want to be around. I know what it is I think I need and what it is I probably actually need. I know that I am already tired of being tired about being tired. So… what to do? I suppose I’ll do what I always do. In fact, the same thing I’ve been doing since I was a kid and nightmares kept me up. Though I won’t arrange the stuffed animals around me in a circle like an audience… yeah I don’t do that part anymore. But I’m sure I will lay there either staring at the ceiling or with my face in the pillow talking myself to sleep. Telling a little story of how if could or should or would be. It doesn’t work so well as it used to.
What will it be then…. go back to the good old bad days when I used sit in some gawd-awful chat room until the wee hours? Or stare at the ceiling and pray for peace?? Maybe I should have a poll and let me readers decide… lol.
Current Mood:
Crying! &
Depressed &
Sad &
Stressed out &
Tired
Why Austin will never give me grandkids…
I had started crocheting a baby blanket for my soon-to-be grand-baby. (from Katey)
Austin laughs and says “Geez Mom, you’re in full-on Granny mode!” (my Mom is constantly knitting, sewing, etc)
I respond with a sigh, “Maybe I’ll have it done by the time you have a baby.” (as of this writing the baby better be extremely skinny)
To which he adamantly replies “I’m never having kids!”
And I say “Well… when your wife has a baby.”
Austin – “No way, Mom! I’m not ever having kids!”
Me – “Why not?” (and I was asking seriously)
Without so much as a word he rolls his eyes and then looks at me and then looks at the twins… “They’re why!!”
Of course… that should have been obvious, right?! LOL
~~~
Later that day while trying to relax and have a snack two mini-people (who had already eaten their dinner) attacked from both sides ‘meowing’ until I fed them. I don’t believe that I have ever spoon fed the cat so I’m not sure why they thought that was a good idea.. but I suppose it resulted in them getting fed so I guess I’m the dope!
Current Mood:
*Wink* &
Amused &
Hey there!




Baby! &
Happy &
Happy Birthday! &
Love-struck &
Proud &
yes yes yessssss!!!!